Mar 8, 2014

To Everything There is a Season

I have always processed life events and emotions using music.  I can't imagine life without music.  But for the first time ever, for a while this week, music left me. There was nothing. Just silence, not the good kind either.  

"To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven..."
It's easy to have faith when life is rolling along, just as we think it should.  But what about when the going gets rough, and then harder still?  And how about when, just when you think you are at full capacity, another tragedy, completely unforeseen occurs?  Then faith is tested.

For me, it's been just like that recently.  For months I've been using music, friends, my faith and my career to deal fairly well with an unusual amount of life events.  Sure, there are moments when I permit a little breakdown, get it out of my system.  It's part of the process when working through these situations.
"A time to be born, 
a time to die..."
And then it happened.  Truly one of the most vibrant, brilliant, beautiful, graceful and generous women that God ever created literally dropped dead at the age of 49.  Born and raised in India, Shalini came to the US and received her Master's and PhD here.  Her remarkable son and daughter are in the process of completing their own degrees.  Her husband, Satish is an exceptionally successful executive.  I thank God that He brought them to our church family many years ago.  
"...A time to laugh, a time to weep..."
And then it happened.  While visiting friends and family in Colorado, my dear cousin's wife had a grand mal seizure, lasting an unusually long time.  Fortunately she had just arrived at her destination and was no longer driving.  It took some time to arrange suitable airline transportation to get her back home to California.  Now they begin the rounds of testing and diagnosing all of the whys, hows, and next steps.
"...A time to dance, a time to mourn..."
And then it happened.  Biopsies have confirmed cancer in new locations on my Dad's neck.  For pity's sake, the man is in his 80's.  Can't we just grant him peace during these years?

Now it is Saturday.  One week later, that seems like a year.  Obviously the music is making a comeback, I take that as a healthy sign.  This phase of my life is taking all that I've got, and it's a good thing I've got a lot.  
A lot of faith.
A lot of love.
A lot of friends.
A lot of sorrow.

Sorrow is ok.  It's warranted in all of these occurrences.  A lack of sorrow would be the result of a lack of love, compassion and caring.  But it is sorrow nonetheless.  And sorrow takes time.  And effort.  And music.  

Just for the record, the line "And a time for every purpose under Heaven" has me stymied.  The only purpose I can find in all of this is:
Don't waste your life here.  
If you love people, tell them.  
If you are unhappy with your life or who you are, change it.  
Accept that we can not find all the answers in this life.
Never stop caring for those in need.
Make a difference.
Shalini made a difference.  My Dad continues to make a difference.  Suzy (my cousin's wife) is an inspiration.

Well, if you read all the way to here, I am amazed!  This is mainly about me processing my stuff from the week...not sure it has any meaning beyond that.  Now, the sun is shining (although it's still very cold outside) and my house needs cleaning.  Time to get busy.

"How can I keep from singing?"

God bless you!