Mar 8, 2014

To Everything There is a Season

I have always processed life events and emotions using music.  I can't imagine life without music.  But for the first time ever, for a while this week, music left me. There was nothing. Just silence, not the good kind either.  

"To everything - turn, turn, turn
There is a season - turn, turn, turn
And a time to every purpose under heaven..."
It's easy to have faith when life is rolling along, just as we think it should.  But what about when the going gets rough, and then harder still?  And how about when, just when you think you are at full capacity, another tragedy, completely unforeseen occurs?  Then faith is tested.

For me, it's been just like that recently.  For months I've been using music, friends, my faith and my career to deal fairly well with an unusual amount of life events.  Sure, there are moments when I permit a little breakdown, get it out of my system.  It's part of the process when working through these situations.
"A time to be born, 
a time to die..."
And then it happened.  Truly one of the most vibrant, brilliant, beautiful, graceful and generous women that God ever created literally dropped dead at the age of 49.  Born and raised in India, Shalini came to the US and received her Master's and PhD here.  Her remarkable son and daughter are in the process of completing their own degrees.  Her husband, Satish is an exceptionally successful executive.  I thank God that He brought them to our church family many years ago.  
"...A time to laugh, a time to weep..."
And then it happened.  While visiting friends and family in Colorado, my dear cousin's wife had a grand mal seizure, lasting an unusually long time.  Fortunately she had just arrived at her destination and was no longer driving.  It took some time to arrange suitable airline transportation to get her back home to California.  Now they begin the rounds of testing and diagnosing all of the whys, hows, and next steps.
"...A time to dance, a time to mourn..."
And then it happened.  Biopsies have confirmed cancer in new locations on my Dad's neck.  For pity's sake, the man is in his 80's.  Can't we just grant him peace during these years?

Now it is Saturday.  One week later, that seems like a year.  Obviously the music is making a comeback, I take that as a healthy sign.  This phase of my life is taking all that I've got, and it's a good thing I've got a lot.  
A lot of faith.
A lot of love.
A lot of friends.
A lot of sorrow.

Sorrow is ok.  It's warranted in all of these occurrences.  A lack of sorrow would be the result of a lack of love, compassion and caring.  But it is sorrow nonetheless.  And sorrow takes time.  And effort.  And music.  

Just for the record, the line "And a time for every purpose under Heaven" has me stymied.  The only purpose I can find in all of this is:
Don't waste your life here.  
If you love people, tell them.  
If you are unhappy with your life or who you are, change it.  
Accept that we can not find all the answers in this life.
Never stop caring for those in need.
Make a difference.
Shalini made a difference.  My Dad continues to make a difference.  Suzy (my cousin's wife) is an inspiration.

Well, if you read all the way to here, I am amazed!  This is mainly about me processing my stuff from the week...not sure it has any meaning beyond that.  Now, the sun is shining (although it's still very cold outside) and my house needs cleaning.  Time to get busy.

"How can I keep from singing?"

God bless you!

10 comments:

Jeanette (Forest Ranger) said...

Darlene, with tears rolling down my cheeks, scripture verses running through my head (thank you for sharing them) and a heart filled with love for you, I lift my prayers to the Father and try to hum softly, as the music returns to your life. (((HUGS))) I care!!!

Margaret said...

I'm so very sorry to read about all the things that are going on in the lives of those you love. They are tragic. I'm so glad that the music is coming back into your heart because He does care for you and those you love. We don't always know the purpose of what goes on in our life, but He has a purpose for each of us and a plan for each of us, so for whatever purpose it is, it ultimately is for our good and one day each of us will be back with Him. Sending up prayers of comfort and peace for you and each of those you love who need it. Hugs, my friend.

Maxine D said...

Oh Darlene - what can I say - my eyes are teary too.

All I can think of is that in these circumstances we need the prayers of others (which you have) and to cling to Jesus.

You have dealt with so much already without all this on top of it. Truly music is a balm to the soul, as you well know, and I will specifically pray that the Lord will continue the music to comfort and heal you.

Blessings, prayers and {{{{{hugs}}}}}}
Maxine

MiamiKel said...

Darlene, sending hugs and prayers your way ~ Truly everything is as He designs it to be, even when it's hardest for us to understand. You have my hugs and utmost prayers x0x0

Carol W said...

Oh my goodness it has been quite the week for you. I am sorry to hear of the return of more cancer for your dad, the loss of a good woman and the poor health of Suzy. It is funny, I have been thinking of you all week as I have a new CD in my car and as I play it, it brings you to thought..the music you lost this week I found....through it I found comfort and wonderful thoughts of a sweet friend. I do hope life brings you JOYFUL music this week Darlene...hugs...♥

Shelly Schmidt said...

Darlene- I am so sorry for your loss! Am also so sorry for the news of new Cancer for your Dad! I am hoping that you can hear some beautiful music as you imagine your friend hand in hand with Jesus : ) And, I will keep praying for you and your family that Dad's cancer is controlled well with treatment and that the docs keep him quite comfortable! {{HUGS}}

:: BlueInks :: said...

Darlene, I am so sorry for all that is going on right now for you. Maybe it is all just happening at once to get it over with! I will be thinking of you and your family and friends. Please take care.....

Judy McMullen said...

Darlene, you are in my prayers every day as is your dad. So sorry you are going through so many trials. Sending you love and knowing your faith will sustain you during this dark time. HUGS!

~Paola~ said...

My dear friend....everyone above said the exact sentiments I feel for you too...All I can do is keeping on praying that healing soon would come to you...I wish I could be there to be able to...somewhat...show you how much I care..yet I can only do this from a distance,....PLEASE DO KNOW that WE ALL CARE AND LOVE YOU!!

Hugging you this much...love ya♥
xoxoxoxox

Kristie W. said...

Sending hugs and prayers for you and your loved ones.

~Kristie (Stamp Addicts)